First blog. What a trip.
Can I just say, I never really thought I'd be a person with a blog. Blogging is for people who comprehend (and give a sh*t about) the internet, right? It's for people who understand what in the world "blog" actually means. (By the way, or btw—as I've recently learned to write, it means 'web log.' Whatever that means. At least blog stands for something and isn't just the sound of us uninitiated and uninformed yurping into our computers because we're so furious that we can't get the damned things to turn on…but I digress.)
How did this come to be, my presence, not only on the net—(as a person with an epistolary nature living in a technological world, I just didn't see this one coming) but as a LIFE COACH to boot? How weird is that?
Here's the thing. I'm far too cynical to be a life coach, far too smart to be certified in a profession that's essentially made up, far too prone to depression and endless procrastination to be showing people the tools to feel better and get going at the things they really love but are afraid to do. Right? Right?
…ummm. Apparently not.
Here's what happened:
I was at that place (again) where I felt like my life was heading perilously into purposelessness. My kids were getting bigger—not that that matters, I also felt pretty purposeless being a housewife and stay-home mom—and I felt like I couldn't go back into acting as it requires so much travel (for regional theatre, which is what I love.) Not that anyone was knocking down my door begging me to come back anyway. I was at the place I felt like I'd been 5,000 times before. What should I do? What was I meant to do? Why had I been given all these creative ideas and all this talent if no one wanted it? Why was I so afraid all the time? Why, when I had everything most people want, was I so continuously sad? What to do?
I had just finished a book Finding Your Own North Star, by Martha Beck. I liked her because she was genuinely funny—a rarity in the self-help world. I thought maybe she could coach me. Alas, she's way past individual coaching…but she did offer this coach training thing. I was immediately intrigued—maybe if I knew what the coaches knew I could stop being so miserable all the time.
But—I had been down this road before. I'd gotten my master's in English, then decided I didn't want to teach. I'd gotten my credential to sub, then thought I'd rather poke my eyes out with a pickle fork than actually go into a classroom. What would my husband say about shelling out another kabillion dollars for me to find something I like to do? I was, in my own thinking, a lousy investment.
Luckily, my babysitter had given me a birthday gift of a session with a psychic. Intuitive. Whatever. (Her name is Liz Vance, and as soon as you finish reading this, you should check her out.) Of course, living in Southern California, this is totally in the realm of normalcy; so I called her and told her how stuck I was and she said, I kid you not: "Have you ever thought about becoming a life coach?"
This caught my attention because I hadn't said a word to anyone about this idea. Not to my husband. Not to my babysitter. Definitely not to psychic Liz. She thought it might be a good idea for me to work with this woman, Martha Beck, regardless of whether or not I became a coach. She thought it would help me to just get happier.
Man, was she right! It's the oddest thing: I just don't feel like crap every day anymore. I mean—it took a lot of practice, wait who am I kidding, it takes a lot of practice. Every day I still practice. But I actually feel better for most of the hours of the day, and if I feel really hunted, haunted and miserable, I can usually change it. What a relief!
So here I am, doing all sorts of things I never thought I'd do. Creating a blog. Trying to figure out how to do all the computer stuff that scares the bejesus out of me for no good reason. Raising kids in a happier way. Moving back toward performing. Finding life coaching clients. Admitting to being happy. That was a big one for me. I was so afraid that if I was happy, my identity as a witty cynic would evaporate, and then I'd really be nothing. Luckily, there are still plenty of situations in the world that require cynical witticisms. I just don't have to continually aim the meanness right into my own heart and ambitions.
I'm believing more every day that the world can still be funny, but that it doesn't have to be as terrifying as it's been, in my dangerous mind, anyway—for the last 30 odd years. I have to say, I'm really liking it. Who knew? (Besides Liz, of course…) And if it leads to being able to write blahgs, I mean blogs about the enchanted and magical trivialities of every day life, well hell. I say—bring it on.
Sonja Alarr
October 4th, 2010 at 8:16 pm
Brava, Dahlink!
Love your site. Love your insight. Keep it up!
~Darliss
October 13th, 2010 at 8:55 pm
Sonya, I absolutely love this website! It completely reflects your personal style and your energy and humor come across wonderfully. I especially enjoyed your video blog. From someone (ME) who looks more like a volkswagon beatle than a sleek ferrari, I get it. Keep them coming! Love, Marquita
October 13th, 2010 at 10:45 pm
You are Golden and this is an awesome website.
October 13th, 2010 at 11:14 pm
Awesome! You go girl! You look beautiful in a bathing suit!
Much ove, Gwen
October 14th, 2010 at 4:03 pm
Hey Sonja, just had to meet you! thanks to my dear friend, Sheila Whittington, I found your website and watched your fabulous video blog–bravo!! I'm an MB master coach, and loved reading about your journey. I too was an English teacher and hated it, I too used to drink too much, and hated it, and I too felt like such a bad investment, but thank god I married a wonderful guy. I've just written a piece about aging which will come out soon, and so I really appreciated your honesty about your body, and your appreciation of it none the less. Keep doing what you're doing Sonja. Love it!
Linda Ford
October 14th, 2010 at 7:44 pm
Love it, love it all!! You would not believe how much we share in feelings and self-torture. You got me through such a difficult period 3 years ago, and I believe that you not only got Gregory to Ashland, but Peter and me too!! A belated but heart-felt thank you from one of your biggest fans. This blog is one I'll definitely be following, and I am so lucky to have you in my life. Jean
October 14th, 2010 at 8:10 pm
Sonja,
I am so impressed with all that you have done to get to this point. You are a beautiful person and wonderful friend. I have no doubt that you will inspire many people to do "the right thing", whatever that may be, with their lives so they too can be living the good life. Congratulations!
xoxo
Kate
October 15th, 2010 at 9:59 pm
Bravo…Bravo…Bravo…I always knew my son married an angel
October 19th, 2010 at 12:45 am
Thank you, my beloved ma! He didn’t marry an angel, it’s just that you raised him so well that he’s easy to be angelic toward!
October 19th, 2010 at 12:47 am
Thank you, Kate! Yeah, it’s taken a minute to get here—but what a pleasure. And right back atcha as far as the beautiful person, wonderful friend part.
October 19th, 2010 at 12:50 am
Oh, yeah. Self torture. ST and I have been on intimate terms…:) Not to sound like a drippy life coach or anything, but I didn’t get you anywhere, I just pointed out an opportunity. It was Greg’s talent and your hard work that got you to your great Ashland life. But of course, I’ll take credit any time.:) As for lucky–one of the luckiest days in my life was when I met you–and you just shine for me still. Love you–
October 19th, 2010 at 12:54 am
Hi Linda! Thanks for taking time to write and introduce yourself. Sounds like you and I were separated at birth…maybe that explains everything! In any case, I just love Sheila and I’m thrilled she passed this on–you sound like a blast and I’ll look for you at any MB stuff in the future. Please send me your article on aging! I’d love to keep up with what you’re doing and wish you the best with your business and, even more important, with your life.
Thanks again,
Sonja
October 19th, 2010 at 12:55 am
Ai, yi, from your mouth to God’s ear…I mean, thank you! Pretty scary to wear a bathing suit on camera, so I appreciate the support!
Much love,
Sonja
October 19th, 2010 at 12:57 am
Takes a GG to know a GG. Thanks for the website comment! I love it too. Your support, as ever, means so much. No one is more extravagant in love and kindness as you are to me.
Love,
Sonja
October 19th, 2010 at 12:59 am
Thanks, Marquita! I’m so glad you like the site–I like it too, and it was a long time coming, as I’m sure you know. Yeah, that video blog was a stretch for sure. But here we are, a GMC pacer and a VW bug and it hasn’t stopped us from doing a thing. Aren’t we lucky?
Much love–and thanks to you for all your amazing coaching and teaching skills.
Love,
Sonja
October 19th, 2010 at 1:01 am
Thank you, Darliss! I’m so happy about this site and I so appreciate the support. As to insight–well, I’ve heard you coach. Talk about insight! So I’m grateful for the kind words there, too.
Love,
Sonja
October 19th, 2010 at 5:56 pm
Hi Sonja! I love your website and your blog! You have such great spirit and humor and style and it comes across so clearly in your writing. I think I might quote you on what I do- psychic, intuitive, whatever. Might be just the marketing tool I need!
I'm glad I've gotten to be a part of a journey that led you here! I know you will help so many people with your coaching and writing and video blogs. You're awesome! Lots of Love, Liz
October 21st, 2010 at 4:56 pm
Thanks, Liz! You are an amazing psychic, intuitive, whatever and I don’t think I would have done this without you. Always lovely to know the universe brings us the messages we need just at the right time. Thank you again for your support, kindness and unending wisdom.
Love,
Sonja
March 28th, 2011 at 3:28 pm
this blog is so beatiful for sure.
August 19th, 2012 at 10:27 am
I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great. I don’t know
Cheers!
who you are but certainly you are going to a famous blogger if you are not already